I have traced the Rebel spies to her. Now she is my only link to finding their secret base. What?! I care. So, what do you think of her, Han? The Force is strong with this one. I have you now. But with the blast shield down, I can't even see! How am I supposed […]
Why do you think that she is a witch? He hasn't got shit all over him. Well, I didn't vote for you. A newt? Look, my liege! I don't want to talk to you no more, you empty-headed animal food trough water! I fart in your general direction! Your mother was a hamster and your […]
I've done everything the Bible says — even the stuff that contradicts the other stuff! Our differences are only skin deep, but our sames go down to the bone. And now, in the spirit of the season: start shopping. And for every dollar of Krusty merchandise you buy, I will be nice to a sick […]
Look, my liege! Shut up! Will you shut up?! What a strange person. But you are dressed as one… You don't frighten us, English pig-dogs! Go and boil your bottoms, sons of a silly person! I blow my nose at you, so-called Ah-thoor Keeng, you and all your silly English K-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-niggits! The Lady of the […]
Oh God, my uncle. How am I ever gonna explain this? The plans you refer to will soon be back in our hands. I suggest you try it again, Luke. This time, let go your conscious self and act on instinct. I want to come with you to Alderaan. There's nothing for me here now. […]
Dear Mr. President, There are too many states nowadays. Please, eliminate three. P.S. I am not a crackpot. You don't win friends with salad. I'm a Spalding Gray in a Rick Dees world. D'oh. A lifetime of working with nuclear power has left me with a healthy green glow…and left me as impotent as a […]
Well, I got better. Ah, now we see the violence inherent in the system! The swallow may fly south with the sun, and the house martin or the plover may seek warmer climes in winter, yet these are not strangers to our land. It's only a model. It's only a model.
